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| Spike Milligan
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. Hi vibrato sounded like he was driving a tractor over a ploughed field with weights tied to his scrotum. I can speak Esperanto like a native. I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it. I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine. I'm a hero with coward's legs. In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife. It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy. Money couldn't buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy. My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. |
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