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| Milton Berle b: New York, New York, Jul 12, 1908 "Mr. Television"; "Uncle Miltie" American. Actor. Comedian. Radio Performer, TV Personality. Vaudeville, stage performer; dominated early TV with "The Milton Berle Show," 1948-56, known for collecting colleague's jokes.
A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living. A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, Who Should we notify in case of an accident? He mulls it over and then writes, Anybody in sight!. I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are. If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.Laughter is an instant vacation.Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient. The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring. We owe a lot to Thomas Edison -- if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. |
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