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| George Burns
-Line in the movie "Oh, God!," 1977Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. Home is having a large, loving close-knit family in another city. I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something. I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate. I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it. People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65, I still had pimples. Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible. There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men. This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two. Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair. When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile. |
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